Blogger Bundle Volume I: Dear Author Selects Unusual Heroines Page 6

  How do you get a man to do sit-ups?

  Put the remote control between his toes.

  What’s the difference between men and government bonds?

  Bonds mature.

  Why are married women heavier than single women?

  Single women come home, see what’s in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what’s in bed and go to the fridge.

  Source: Thompson, Dave “More Dumb Men Jokes”

  http://ijmc.com/

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  6

  DAN LOOKED at himself in the mirror, and straightened his tie. He liked the Armani tux and thought it worth the extravagant price he’d paid. The tailoring was so fine he felt completely at ease and ready for the night ahead.

  He expected to find Jessica waiting for him in the living room, but the bedroom door was still closed. She’d gotten home an hour ago, given him a brief report on her day, including Owen’s insistence that Dan wasn’t really her boyfriend, and then she’d closed herself in to get ready for the gala.

  He’d stared at the door for a long time, aware of the urge to walk in on her, to watch her as she dressed. In his mind’s eye he’d imagined her sorting out her things, preparing herself layer by layer. Dressed in nothing more than a long royal-blue kimono, she’d passed by on her way to her shower. When she reappeared, her hair was fixed in a sensual updo and her makeup made her blue eyes seem startlingly vivid and her full lips moist and ripe as just-picked strawberries.

  She’d disappeared again, leaving him to get dressed, and he’d taken his time. They were to be at the party a full hour before the first guests should arrive so that Jessica could take care of any last-minute details. Marla had called once, and Jessica had taken it in the bedroom. Other than that interruption, he’d been left to his own thoughts, which had gone in one very narrow direction.

  Last night, after Jessica had gone to bed, hadn’t been a restful one. The question he’d asked her had tormented him, giving rise to image after image of him tying her to his large four-poster. In some scenarios she was naked, but in most she wore something. A bra and panties, white lace or black. A bustier complete with garter and dark hose, and as he’d tied silk scarves to her graceful ankles, he studied her four-inch stilettos. Still another version had her in business garb, a slim skirt he’d hoisted to the junction of her thighs, the better to spread her legs. Her demure jacket unbuttoned and open, revealing a thin teddy that couldn’t hide the hard buds of her nipples.

  In each of his mental movies, she’d begun with hesitation and not a little bit of fear. As the scene progressed, he’d toyed with her, teased her into a writhing frenzy of lust and desire. In the end, he imagined her cries of release.

  The only way he could get himself to sleep was to vow, quite sincerely, that before he’d said goodbye to Jessica, after this charade had ended, he would have her in his bed. And he would let loose the sensual creature he saw just beyond her cool facade.

  Morning had come too quickly, and with it, her departure. After she’d left, he’d gone over his notes. The questions he’d written just the day before no longer felt probing enough. He was after something ephemeral and he wasn’t certain yet what tack to take.

  The frustration had mounted until he’d had to escape the suite. He’d gone to the hotel gym and worked himself into exhaustion on the treadmill and then on free weights. He followed his regular routine, except at home his run was by the Central Park Pond, and when he did his weights, he didn’t do as many reps. His muscles still ached, but pleasantly.

  Back at the room, he’d showered, dressed and discovered Jessica had returned to the suite. She had been in the bedroom for an hour now, but she would have to come out soon if they were going to be on time. Jessica struck him as someone who would be appalled at tardiness. He thought about having a drink but he wanted to be on his toes to assess the situation at the party. Later, if things went smoothly, he’d indulge in some champagne, but for now, he poured himself a glass of water and settled on the couch.

  He didn’t have to wait long. The bedroom door opened, and he stood before he turned. What he saw made him swallow hard. She looked like the woman from his fantasies, all of them, wrapped into one. Her sleeveless gown, a deep scarlet that matched her lips, hugged her bodice, lifting her lush, pale breasts into perfect mounds. After tapering at her waist, the material flowed past her hips to swirl around her feet. He could just see the pointed tip of one shoe, the color an exact match to the dress. Simple, elegant, she was everything beautiful and sinful about a woman. The long curve of her neck, the perfection of her shoulders…“Amazing,” he said, his voice rough and quieter than he’d intended, the word inadequate by a mile.

  Her lips curled into a slow smile, and her cheeks turned a fetching pink. “Thank you. You’re pretty amazing yourself.”

  He grinned. “This old thing? I wear it to pick apples.”

  He was rewarded with a laugh. He liked the way her eyes crinkled when she let go like that. He liked a lot about her.

  “Are you ready?”

  “As I’ll ever be.”

  He held his arm out for her. “The chariot awaits, my lady.”

  “Chariot, my behind. All I want to do is get through tonight with no major disasters.”

  “It’s going to be an unqualified success,” he said as she walked up to him. He hadn’t noticed before, but she held a small bag in her right hand, scarlet, to match her shoes, glittering to match the magic of her eyes. “The only problem you’re going to have is that all the other women will be green with envy.”

  She touched his arm softly. “I can’t believe you don’t understand women. You’ve certainly mastered the art of flattery.”

  “You think that was flattery? Wrong. Just stating the facts, like the research stud I am.”

  She laughed again. “Just do me a favor. Keep Owen off my back tonight. Then I’ll call you any kind of stud you want.”

  He waggled his eyebrows as he led her to the door. “I’m going to hold you to that.”

  “That’s fine, hold me.” Her step faltered. “To it,” she rushed to add.

  He didn’t say anything, just enjoyed that he could fluster her. Discretion being the better part of valor, he decided to rescue his maiden from further embarrassment. “Tell me more about Owen. Did he find you?”

  Her stride evened as they approached the elevator. “Yes, he did. He laughed a lot, like we were sharing some colossal joke. He asked if you were that gay friend of mine.”

  “What did you tell him?”

  “That I should have mentioned you before, because things were getting pretty serious, but that I work hard at keeping my private life private.”

  “Nice. And his response?”

  “I don’t know. I was saved by the bell. Marla called, and I went outside to talk to her.”

  “Better and better. But have no fear. Tonight we’ll end his doubts.”

  The elevator arrived and she led him inside. A man in a rumpled suit rested against the back of the car and the way he stared at Jessica made Dan want to wash his mind out with soap. Dan positioned himself between Jessica and the lecher, putting his arm around her shoulder as the doors whispered closed.

  She looked up at him sharply. “Rehearsing?”

  He smiled. “You never know who’ll be on the other side of those doors.”

  She didn’t seem convinced, although she didn’t move away. “Anyway, about tonight…”

  “Yes?”

  “What is it you’re planning? The star attraction tonight is New Dawn. We’re going to have a lot of celebrities and I don’t want any of the focus of the evening to be on me. Us.”

  “My only target audience is Owen.”

  Her furrowed forehead hadn’t smoothed. “Just how vivid is this demonstration going to be?”

  “Don’t worry. It’s going to be great. I may not have gone to college but I do know how to behave among them hoity-toity folks.”

  She smile
d, and he felt her shoulders relax. “I trust you. I think.”

  “You just concentrate on the work,” he said. “I’ll take care of the rest.”

  WHEN THEY GOT to the Panorama, the valet opened the limo door, and Jessica stepped onto the pavement, her gaze automatically checking to make sure that the guard ropes held back the gathering paparazzi on either side of the entrance. The bouncers were impeccably dressed in tuxedos, and the klieg lights were sweeping the night sky. All seemed well, and when Dan took her hand to lead her inside, her nerves eased perceptibly. She’d been to lots of events like this—movie premieres, awards shows, restaurant openings, but she’d never been in charge of anything this large before. She took comfort in the strength of her team and the fact that she’d been obsessive in her attention to detail. However, things could still go wrong.

  For whatever reason, Dan’s hand made things better. His presence radiated confidence that she was able to tap into. Rationally, she should have been more nervous, not less. God knows he sent her thoughts skidding into the danger zone, but maybe that was the key. A large chunk of her fear was siphoned off into sexual awareness. Sure. It made a world of sense. And at least for tonight, she felt grateful.

  Inside, the club looked sensational. Festooned with peach and lavender balloons, custom-made to match the New Dawn colors, She’d been afraid that it would look like a sixteen-year-old’s bedroom, but the sophistication of the flowers, the artwork and the sheer drapes made it seem more like something out of a beautiful dream. The decor worked, and when the dance floor was packed and the music filled the air, the atmosphere would transform into something sensual and steamy, exactly what she was going for.

  Marla waved from the bar and headed their way. She looked fantastic in her simple black gown. With her hair pinned back by a diamond clip and the small diamond studs in her ears, she seemed radiant.

  “Oh, you’re so gorgeous!” Marla walked a complete circle around them. “Va-va-voom! Both of you.”

  “Look who’s talking,” Dan said. “You’re going to have every man in the place begging for a scrap of attention.”

  Her cheeks got hot pink and she looked at the floor. “Oh, right.”

  Dan lifted her hand. “Hey,” he said very softly.

  Marla lifted her gaze, but not her head.

  “In a very deserted jungle, deep in Costa Rica, I watched a caterpillar turn into a monarch butterfly. The transformation took my breath away, and when I tried later to tell a friend about the beauty of the butterfly, words failed me. Now all I would have to do is point to you, and he would understand.”

  Marla’s blush deepened and her eyes grew moist. “I don’t…”

  Dan leaned over and kissed her cheek. “Knock ’em dead, gorgeous,” he whispered, just loudly enough so that Jessica could hear.

  Her attention shifted from her assistant to this odd man she’d hired to be her escort. How could he have known that Marla had been struggling to transform herself from a somewhat geeky youth into a confident young woman? That this dress, this whole approach to her looks was new and untested? That what she needed most was a man, particularly a good-looking, confident man, to affirm that she was beautiful, that she could relax into this new phase of her life?

  Marla practically floated away with a vague promise to check into something, leaving Jessica alone with Dan. Well, as alone as one could be while waiters and team members scurried about straightening this and adjusting that. He smiled at her, but not in a self-satisfied, gloating way, which she had sort of expected. He’d made the night for Marla, and most men she knew would have worn that triumph like a trophy.

  “May I get you something to drink?” he asked. “Or maybe there’s some work I can do? I’m pretty handy with a hammer or even a dish towel.”

  Jessica shook her head. “No, thanks. I think we’ve got it under control, but if you’d like, you can come with me while I do a final check.”

  “It would be my pleasure.”

  AFTER A GOOD HALF HOUR talking with the deejay, checking on the liquor and the hired staff, Jessica led Dan back into the main room of the club. Marla was stationed at the door, welcoming the first of the guests. From this distance Jessica couldn’t see who it was. As they walked across the dance floor, she felt Dan’s hand slip from her shoulder to the base of her neck. His long fingers felt warm and a bit ticklish. Her first reaction was to cringe, but she mastered herself quickly. She’d never really thought about all the places a man touched a woman that went beyond casual boundaries. An acquaintance could certainly touch a hand, an arm, even a shoulder. But a touch to the neck or face carried with it an unspoken message: I’m entering into the land of the private, here. You’re allowing me to. That means we’re more than friends, and if you let my hand linger, it means we’re heading for intimacy. Jessica hadn’t let anyone into her privacy in years, and she wondered if she’d been on a date with Dan, would she have cringed? Or would she have welcomed his touch?

  As it stood now, she couldn’t very well shake him off. He was simply doing his job. Making it clear to all and sundry that they were a couple. She didn’t dare tell him to back off in case Owen was in sight, because Owen could be anywhere at any time, watching for just this kind of thing. In fact, she slowed her pace, looked up to meet Dan’s gaze, and slipped her hand around his waist.

  “Hey there,” he said.

  “You’re good at this,” she said.

  “I’ve been on dates before.”

  “This isn’t one.”

  “Not technically, no. But why let a little thing like a pesky, oversexed boss get in the way? I’m going to enjoy every minute of tonight, and I hope you are, too.”

  “It’s not important that I enjoy myself. I can’t afford to forget I’m working.”

  “Who says the two are mutually exclusive? You can be observant, take care of business, and still have a blast.”

  She stopped him short. “What planet are you from?”

  He shook his head, his expression puzzled. “Why on earth would you want a career that isn’t fun?”

  “Fun? Fun isn’t the issue.”

  “Why not? What better criteria are there?”

  “Money, power. You know, the things that make the world go round?”

  “So you get off on power, do you?”

  “Sure.”

  “You say that like it’s a given.”

  “It is. Power is what it’s all about.”

  “Why?”

  “Come on, Dan. Look around. Those who have the most power win.”

  “Win what? What’s the prize?”

  She looked over at the front door. More and more people were arriving, and she shouldn’t leave Marla to face the crowd on her own. “Let’s talk about prizes later, shall we? I need to get over there.”

  “Of course. But I’m not going to forget where we were.”

  “I’m sure you’re not.”

  They reached the entrance and Marla stepped to her side. “Donna Karan is here, and so is Kate Spade. The limos are starting to pile up.”

  “Great. Do me a favor, go ask Eddy to start the champagne and hors d’oeuvres. Have you seen Owen?”

  “He got here a while ago. He asked me where you were.”

  “I’m sure he’ll turn up.”

  Marla gave Dan a big smile, then headed off for the kitchen. Jessica turned to find Donald Trump at the door with his latest girlfriend. She settled in for a long hour of greetings, aware the whole time that Dan was close by.

  When the bulk of the crowd had arrived, Dan led Jessica away from the door into the heart of the party. The music, an eclectic mix by one of the most popular deejays in the city, was just loud enough to make conversation difficult. Drinks and food flowed at the hands of the ever attentive staff, and everyone seemed to be having a hell of a good time. He hoped to make that true for Jessica.

  She’d handled the introductions like a pro, but when he touched her he could feel the tension in her muscles. Owen had come by briefly, p
retty much ignoring Dan, but the crowd had been such that he had to leave Jessica be. Now that they were out in the open, so to speak, Dan felt sure Owen would make his move.

  They were in the middle of the dance floor, Madonna singing a techno-song with a strong beat. Dan grabbed Jessica’s hand and spun her around to face him. “Let’s dance,” he shouted.

  She shook her head no, and tried to turn away but he stopped her.

  “Come on, one dance. It’ll do you good.”

  She closed the distance between them and he bent at the waist so his ear was near her mouth. “I don’t know how.”

  “Ah,” he said. “Then I’ll wait for a slow song.”

  “Dan, I have work to do.”

  “What work would that be? Everything’s going great.”

  “I need to make sure it continues.”

  “It will. Look around.”

  She did, with a slow arc, turning around until she’d seen the whole room.

  “See? These people know how to party.”

  She nodded, but seemed captivated by something in a dark corner. He followed her gaze to find Marla standing with Shawn Foote. The two were huddled close as Shawn talked to her.

  “Is something wrong?”

  Jessica shook her head. “No, it’s fine. It’s just that Marla has a—”

  He lost the tail end of her sentence. “What?”

  She stood on tiptoe and cupped her mouth. “Marla has a huge crush on him. I’m proud of her.”

  “Ah. Good for her.”

  The song ended and another fast number took its place. “Is there somewhere quiet around here?”

  “The only place I know of is the bathroom.”

  “No good.”

  “Oh,” she said. “There’s the roof.”

  “Perfect. Where’s the door.”

  She pointed toward the kitchen. “At the back, to your left.”

  He laughed. “You’re coming with me.”

  “No, I can’t.”

  “You can.” He grabbed her hand and led her through the press of bodies. It took a while, but they got past the dance floor. He’d even managed to snag a glass of champagne on the way.